Someone I know took their own life recently

 In Life

Someone I know took their own life recently.

I just found out a few days ago.

This person wasn’t a friend, more of an acquaintance. I think we all have them. Someone you’ve known for years, and you see each other by accident every few months or so, and you always stop for a chat and a quick catch up.

So, this person, this lovely, smiley, warm human being with a young family and many friends and everything to live for.

They took their own life.

I’ve been thinking about this person a lot this week.

I’ve done all the usual stuff. I’ve worked, and I’ve read books and watched some TV, I’ve laughed and spent time with family. A normal week.

A good week.

And I can’t stop thinking about this person.

And the family left behind.

I know what it’s like to reach that point where thinking about taking your own life becomes normal. Becomes a logical choice.

I’ve been well for many years now, so I don’t consider that to be an option any more. I don’t need it to be an option. And I can see it for what it is: broken logic, a way of thinking and reasoning that the brain is presenting as truthful and correct.

Death is the only option.

The world will be a better place without you.

This will end your endless pain.

And you won’t be a burden to anyone anymore.

And if you don’t do it, you’re a coward.

But the mind, and emotions, they are tricksters. They can lie to us. And we can get help, learn how to manage our thought processes, how to manage our emotions, see life from a different perspective.

I wish my friend had known this.

My heart breaks for this person. And the family.

This is all I can tell you this week.

Except, be kind and generous to each other.

Love you.

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Showing 6 comments
  • Joan MacLeod
    Reply

    Sorry you have to go through this, unfortunately I know exactly how you feel as I’ve had 4 people I knew that committed suicide. None of us saw it coming and thought they were all doing well. To get to that point in their lives that they feel it is their only option is so sad . Love you and take care of yourself.

    • Ken Preston
      Reply

      Hi Joan, and thank you for the comment. So sorry to hear about the people you have lost to suicide. Life is precious, isn’t it? Let’s keep remembering that. x

  • Kaylor
    Reply

    You could never realize how close this post hit home today. My cousin, not even 40 years old, took his life on Monday. We just had the service for him yesterday. We knew he was hurting. His mother and sister tried SO HARD to get him help. But he didn’t want the help. Now his parents, his siblings, and his wife and sons have to pick up the pieces of their shattered hearts and find a way to go on. My parents (his uncle and aunt) and I are trying to find a new normal for ourselves. He was a huge personality. A gregarious person. Someone who always had us laughing. Always pulling pranks on unsuspecting family members.
    My mom and I were talking a few days ago and she said she was mad at him. I told her I understand her anger, but I also understood why he did it. While I’ve never been to the point of seriously considering suicide, I have been at the point of needing to talk to someone, and not having anyone I trust enough to talk to about everything.
    I’m glad you got help and that you’re doing better.

    • Ken Preston
      Reply

      Hi Kaylor,

      So, so sorry to hear your news about your cousin. For those who have never fallen way down to that point it can be difficult to understand why they did it. And yes, I can understand the anger. But having been at the point where I was considering those options, but now in a much better place, I can see that my thinking was warped. We have little to no control over our own minds in those cases.

      I hope you and your family are doing better. Sending much love your way,
      Ken x

  • Mary
    Reply

    Life is indeed precious. I’ve seen the impact on friends of suicide and the helplessness they feel. The ‘shoulda, coulda’ thoughts. And we lost our brother in law (Sylvia’s son in law) to cancer just recently. So all the more reason for us to treasure life and enjoy every moment. And to be kind to each other and connect more. And let’s keep the darkness for books and films where we can eh?

    • Ken Preston
      Reply

      Hi Mary, thank you. Yes, I was aware of your brother-in-law as Sylvia had told me about him. That was very hard for all of you. We lost a friend to cancer two years ago, when she was fifty. So difficult, and yet so much more reason for treasuring life and enjoying it.

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